To Understand Him

What's frustrating for lots of women is that
men often react this way when you simply bring up
something you feel strongly about or you need to
get off your chest.

Sure, maybe you got a little choked up or felt
intense about it, but you were just being honest
with your feelings.

Well I hate to be the one to break it to you,
but this isn't unusual for a man to do.

In fact, it's "standard" behavior for most men
to react to a woman with withdrawal or frustration
in these kinds of conversations.

Have you ever felt any of the following? Because I did:

1. In your mind, you could sense what a great guy he was, and that, somewhere deep inside, you both shared this strong "chemistry" that made you feel close and comfortable. But for some reason he didn't want to truly connect with you.

2. Have you ever slept with a guy very quickly after meeting him, but as it started to happen you got that sinking feeling in your stomach? You knew it was a mistake, but you did it anyway. And then the thing you KNEW would happen actually happened: He unexplainably disappeared from your life. Honestly, have you ever had this happen?

Of course, the worst part wasn't that it happened, but that you KNEW you shouldn't have done it in the first place... but you did it anyway

You were trying to get CLOSER to him, and somehow he kept moving farther AWAY from you.

I'm guessing that when one of these things happened, your girlfriends said things like:

"He's just a jerk, forget about him".

Or they said: "He doesn't see the mistake he's making or what he'll be missing". But he never seemed to see these mistakes... or even miss you.

And the worst part of all: You kept thinking about it.

In fact, it really GOT TO YOU. And I'll bet the REASON why it got to you is because you worried that it might have been something to do with YOU (and not just because he was a total jerk).

In fact, TO THIS DAY you still have the feeling that YOU may have done something wrong, and that you may have CAUSED some of the problems in the first place... and if you would have known the RIGHT thing to do, things would have turned out differently...

Unfortunately, the bad news is that you're probably right.

Chances are you DID have something to do with it, and things probably WOULD have turned out differently if you would have known how to deal with the situation.



When men hear women getting emotional, they
usually do one of two things:

1. Immediately go into "Action Mode" and try to
"fix" the problem with concrete solutions (and
that's not usually what women want to hear)

2. SHUT DOWN

The main PROBLEM here, and the thing that stood in your way, is that men aren't easy to understand. And when you find a good man, he doesn't come with an "instruction manual".