I believe this one is final...

It' s over. Finally, I can breathe.

I can have a life again, something apart from always trying to run after you. Devoting my time and attention just to catch up with your schedule whenever you want to talk.
(to fight to prove myself and my love to u)

I can stop trying to understand, trying to make you see that we can work through this, that our love is worth fighting for.

All the uncertainty, all the confusion, all the pain of not knowing where I went wrong, all the accusations, especially the accusation of being manipulative while towards the end it was YOU who's manipulating me to do something to satisfy just YOU!, your so-called punishments, they are finally over.


D*mn you for putting me through all that.

D*mn you for taking my belief in love, my belief in forever, my belief in you, and handing them back to me broken, because you are unsure of me????.

You will never know how much you hurt me by just giving up, you will never know how much you scared me from loving as much as I loved you ever again.


I did not deserve to be hurt that way. And you didn't deserve my heart.


So much wasted emotion. I had so much more tenderness to give, I could have stayed with you longer, but you didn't think it would be worth our while. You enjoyed my sufferings, u even made it known to me that i needed to be punished. Yet you say your love for me is real? This is YOUR version of love? Tough love? Tough definitely, but love? there's no love in this. Just all pretend and lies.


I know you're still attracted to me , as I know that you were too d*mned scared to be vulnerable. You told me you dont want to get hurt...so you're hurting me instead.


And I was stupid enough to hope I can help you conquer that fear, or live with it, so that you can take the risk of letting me into your heart. I took the chance and fought for my feelings and my love. To the point of looking desperate for your attention. There's no day or night i stopped thinking of you. But it's so easy for you to just ignore me and ignore all my efforts to hang on to our relationship.


Not anymore. You would rather hurt me than let down your guard.


I loved you. Honestly, bravely, intensely I loved you. But it wasn't enough. You wanted consequences for me to do. Punishments for me to suffer.


I hate the fact that we could have saved us, but we didn't.

We simply gave up something rare, something that doesn't come along everyday.

I hate the emptiness. I hate the regrets.


But the worst thing about all this is the simple, stupid, pathetic truth that I miss you.


I miss you. I knew losing you would be painful, but pain, I can deal with. Once again im doubting there's such thing as TRUE love. I guess it's extinct.

I can cope with the sharp, intense rush of emotion that cuts like a knife, but is relieved somehow by tears and is dulled by the passage of time.

What I didn't expect was the sadness, the steady, lingering hurt that comes with the realization that you will never again look at me as if I'm precious, special, and infinitely cherished.

You will never again call me “MY WIFE” with the tender amazement that I really am yours.


It's the constant heaviness that haunts me and makes me wonder if I'll ever be whole again without you, or if I'll always mourn the part of me that died with our love.

I miss you.

And I'm to be totally honest with myself, I'll have to admit that some parts of me would accept and say I'd do anything, give everything even go through all the confusion again, just to find a way for you to keep believing in us. To bring back the intensity of our emotional attachment.


But there's no chance of that. I believe it's all make believe. I met the guy who pretended to be all loving and everything i'd wish for. Your treatment of me drastically changed so fast that NO true love can ever do that. Love doesnt fade so fast.


Some goodbyes are final. I have a feeling this one is.