Trust and Finding Love

I have been very honest. I try to make my partner get to know who I really am. I apologize when I make mistakes, I am willing to learn and grow with him. But why is it so hard for the other person to tell the truth? Why is it so hard to understand my reasons? My situation is a little bit difficult compared to the others. Im a single parent and I struggle everyday. I knew my situation can be a challenge for someone who wants to be part of my life. I used to waste my money buying things I want for myself and spend my money for luxury, parties and nightouts. Now, I think of my son's needs first before mine. Life is a constant journey and I'm learning from it.

I know we all tend to be possessive and suspicious of others. That's when honesty and trust play their part. Communication is very important especially for a long distance relationship. I was against it but i gave it a chance. But I'm just not getting the honesty and trust I deserve. I have learned to accept there's no such thing as true love aside from the love of a mother to her child. I build up my defenses to protect me from the pain of failed relationships and brokenheart. I have given up on love untill someone came along and stole my fragile heart. My heart started beating for love again. I gave my heart another chance. But now, Im starting to wonder if I made the right choice. I feel the pain again. But im not going to just give up altogether when i want to be able to live life to the fullest, and part of living life to the fullest involves possibilities, which include being in love. I wanna know what love truly is and I dont want to be alone and feeling lonely in my life like i have been. Since my mom died, everything has changed. I grew cold but strong. I've been like that all my life, and im tired of that. I know finding love is all about taking chances, and not being the one to wait for love to come to you as it lessens your likelihood of finding love. Love is really such a mystery to me...